Weird Thing #4 Insist on finding out exactly how long you breast fed
What is it about some moms and their breast milk that they need to share the size of their engorged breasts, whether their child latched on, and what the pumping conditions were at their office all within the first hour of meeting you. If you both have children under the age of one, the mother will then inevitably ask, “Are you breast feeding still?” or, if you have failed in this motherly pursuit, “How long did you breast feed for?” Loaded within this seemingly innocent question are facts about your coordination (”Why couldn’t you get your baby to latch on?), your dedication (”You just gave up?”) and your selfish desire to keep your body to yourself (”You actually worried about saggy breasts at a time like that?!”).
OK, I’m not even a mom but this seems like a good reason to plug a favorite author’s upcoming book: “Hell is Other Parents,” by Deborah Copaken Kogan.
http://www.deborahcopakenkogan.com/hell_is_other_parents_76473.htm
She’s a former war photojournalist, but it seems like parenting has been her hardest assignment yet.
Comment by Lauren — May 13, 2009You should get HER to link to your blog
There should be a ban on asking this question. My son is 8 and I am still defensive whenever people ask me how long I nursed. I only did it for a few days so I feel the need to say I pumped and how hard it was. So stupid!
Comment by Eva — May 13, 2009Guilty as charged regarding the questions but I never guilt another mom about it! My husband calls women who make other women feel bad about breastfeeding Nursing Nazis.
Comment by Julie — May 14, 2009Funny–talk about perspective. When I read “insist on finding out exactly how long you breastfed” I actually took it the other the other way. See, my second child, my daughter just wouldn’t let go of that last before bedtime nursing, even when she was well past the point of “needing it”. It was a comfort thing, of course, and I admit it was a nice quiet time for me too– you know –bonding and all. So when people would ask me if I was still nursing, I didn’t always tell the whole truth. I had no reason to be, but I was a little embarrassed. Don’t worry- we stopped LONG before kindergarten
Comment by Keri — May 31, 2009I “failed”, though I tried absolutely everything the books recommended from hot showers to cold compresses to frozen cabbage leaves… you name it. I bought multiple books, consulted 2 lactation consultants, and was absolutely miserable for 5 1/2 weeks, until I finally quit because I literally couldn’t pump even a drop for my son to drink. Question is… why did I put myself through this? Answer: because no one, and not a single book on the shelf told me it was OKAY to stop!!! That for some people it JUST DOESN”T WORK OUT, no matter how hard you try. I bottle fed my second son and actually got to enjoy his newborn stage. Definitely the right way to go for me, personally.
Comment by Allison — June 6, 2009